My Advice to a First-Time Pageant Mom.
-Celise Swanson
Little did I know that when my daughter got an ‘Open Call’ notice in the mail for the National American Miss pageant in 2009, our lives would be forever changed. Those were the days of “Toddlers in Tiaras” which didn’t always show pageantry in a positive light. To say I was skeptical was an understatement!
Things often happen for a reason. I knew that another door was closing for my daughter long before we saw this open window. You see she was an excellent gymnast, very quickly outgrowing the gymnastics program that they had at the time at the YMCA. Both figurative and literal. It is hard to tell a 9-year-old that you know that she will be too tall to be a gymnast. It is also hard telling a 9-year-old that the next level of gymnastics competition would require us to drive her two hours away to a gym that could handle that level. So the Open Call came in at just the right time. Something new to try that would fill the void that I knew, from experience, would be left in her after she outgrew gymnastics.
That particular Pageant Director was, and still is a firecracker! In that open call, I learned that this pageant was about skill building and confidence building. Interview skills, public speaking skills, confidence skills. These are transferrable skills that would carry my daughter anywhere in life. Needless to say, I said ‘yes’ to the pageant. I became a “Pageant Mom”.
Along the way, there are several things that I have learned as a pageant Mom. Most of these things I learned the hard way – isn’t that how most lessons come? Maybe my little blog can take some of the pressure off of a new pageant mom if I share the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
Get Organized
From deadlines to outfits, from practicing to routines, you need to be organized to help your child be organized. Creating spreadsheets and timelines is definitely helpful but one of my favorite organizational hacks is something we use when packing for a large national pageant that has different theme days.
Bargains are okay, but you get what you pay for
In our early days of pageants, we bought used gowns on eBay and I will never forget one pageant where I was literally having to stitch my daughter into a gown that otherwise didn’t fit. But guess what, that is totally okay if you are new to pageants and not sure if this will be your daughter’s thing, there is no reason to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on gowns or outfits.
Buying second-hand gowns is wonderful – but also look for quality and make sure you take the time to get it altered to fit if needed. Keep this in mind on your timeline! Keep in mind when selecting any part of a pageant wardrobe, your daughter’s confidence will be impacted by how fantastic she feels. Make sure that she loves her wardrobe!
Invest in your daughter – get a coach.
You pay for dance, gymnastics, softball, and every other sporting activity. Pageantry is no different. If you want to help your daughter understand what will be expected of her, develop the skills she needs to compete, and to help her prepare, then invest in a coach. Believe it or not, there is a right way to walk. And the right way to walk changes based on the gown. Interviewing skills must be practiced as well as public speaking. But if you are going to invest in the pageant, you should invest in the guidance that will give your daughter her very best shot at success.
Have a tool kit at the Pageant
Take the time to think of everything you might need and have it ready. From a first aid kit to a sewing kit, I promise you will be glad you had it all.
Bring a small cooler of healthy snacks to the pageant hotel
Pageants often do not leave time for a real meal, and your family will be competing with others to be seated at the restaurant. Always have food on hand so that you can keep your daughter and family fed.
If you can, pay for Hair and Makeup
Trust me on this, you and your daughter will get along so much better if at the pageant you have a professional there to handle these details. Very few mothers have the skill set to give their daughter her best look, and with tension running high during pageant week, this adds stress to the week that you do not need.
Just like your coach, HMU professionals know what is needed for stage lights and how to make sure that your daughter can feel confident and competitive. The HMU room is very much like a beauty parlor with lots of women talking and taking care of each other. It can be the best way to learn the industry and make some friends both for you as a parent and for your daughter.
Be your daughter’s biggest cheerleader.
It is much harder than anyone realizes to compete in a pageant. Just getting up on stage is intimidating to most. Even if your daughter is nervous, messes up, or forgets her line, your support is what will help her grow through her experience.
NEVER ever be a sore loser. Be a good example to others.
And do not let your daughter be one either. It is hard to know what the judges are looking for and looking for. One of the best lines that I ever heard a Director say to the parents at a pageant is that the judges are not looking for a winner among a bunch of representatives, they are looking for the best representative among a group of winners.
Enjoy your daughter!
Pageantry and pageant-related events have been one of the most enjoyable things that I have had the opportunity to experience and enjoy with my daughter. We have traveled together to some exciting places and met some amazing people. The time that we spend together working on pageants, even just shopping online or bouncing ideas off of each other has been a joy.
